Monday, September 22, 2008

Futures

I've sat here a long time with nothing really to write. I'm confused. There's lots I have to say. I want to save the world just as much as I did when I wasn't that screwed up. That said, I'm not really that screwed up. I'm fixing it, or allowing it to be fixed. I know that could sound unbelievable but that's kinda how it is. I know the extent of my screwed-up-ness. I know that over the last few months, I've tended towards sucky but right now, I know that and it's being sorted.

But then there's this other thing. I hate social work. I hate it. I mean, sure it could just be first year annoyingness where it'll be annoying for the first bit until it gets better than it is now but I really don't like the theory as much as I like the practical stuff. I've decided I want to work. I don't just want work though. I want to work for God's glory. I want the mission fields more now than I ever have. I want Asia. I want to be a teacher to kids in Thailand or Cambodia or India. I haven't really decided yet. I want to play soccer in the streets with kids. I want that life. I really want it and teaching and education gives me something to take to them. I still want to save the world. Who knows? Maybe after that, I'll come back with fresher perspectives enough to save my own backyard. So I'm thinking maybe a graduate diploma in Teaching and Learning (primary). I'd like to work here in NZ for a bit maybe and then go. That would be mantis. I want to teach kids who want to be taught. I want to teach.

That's about the extent of my confusion. I just have to get past the hard part of applications for the programme. I need to find me some referees. This is kinda exciting me. I hope this is the right thing to do. Pray for me haha.

Lots of love,
Lans

4 comments:

Warwick Tomlinson said...

Lani, you crack me up. i love that you can be so transparent about your feelings its an admirable quality. I just pray that the society that you want to help/serve doesnt ruin your lovely spirit. you inspire me.

Warwick

Lani said...

Haha I something wonder whether the point of society is to break my spirit. Perhaps brokenness isn't such a bad thing... helps us realise we need Jesus :). Yay for Jesus eh!

Thanks Warwick :) Hope you're well!! I'm going to come visit one day! Really!

Warwick Tomlinson said...

lol, uh huh, sure.

Lani said...

lol well I did come down a couple of months ago but yeah... it was pretty overnight. Serious man... I'm coming! It's on the agenda to visit Dunedin more next year... I'd say see it before you believe it though... hahaha.