Ramblin' Woman
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Pearl Jam's amazing concert experience...
Pretty much the most amazing concert I've ever been to. It might even nudge U2 out of the top spot. Seriously 'O' for o-mazing!There was a particular genuiness in the atmosphere, due largely in part Eddie Vedder who really seems like a genuine top bloke. I won't forget to take away from the performances of Liam Finn (impressive stuff!) and Ben Harper who really is good times. I love his vocals. There's a spine chilling-ness about his music as he lets his vocals and instruments ring for more affect, that is a complete emotional drawcard. Ben Harper is a top bloke.
What I love about U2 is how for every place they go to, they learn about the culture and soak it up. So Bono comes out on stage wearing a warriors emblem on the back of his leather jacket and right through the screens, there are koru designs during a song written for our treeless hill.
Pearl Jam might have trumped in that respect. Eddie Vedder made a joke about Parisian violence (the French getting kicked by the All Blacks). The biggest honour was Pearl Jam inviting Neill Finn and son, Liam out for a Jam. So out they came and busted a well-loved Crowded House tune, "Better Be Home Soon" and a Split Enz number, "I Got You". Chances are, a lot of those Pearl Jam fans would never go and see a Neill Finn concert but they know the songs. They're anthems... a significant part of Kiwi culture. More incarnational good times.
I was a bit gutted when I read the Auckland review and saw that PJ had skipped Jeremy off the list of songs they played. I was complaining about it to my flatmate and the next thing I heard was the simplistic guitar intro to Jeremy. It's a chilling song but it's good times. Each song took me to places in my teenagehood. There were times I would get mad at the world and sit in my room and listen to "Garden." Or when I was trying to learn the guitar and learned to play Betterman (Ah... if only they played Cropduster). Then there was that time my friends played Evenflow with their band (and In the Moonlight was a good hit too) and I just sat on by as groupie.
I loved the fact that all three artists performing on the night engaged with each other. Vedder came on during Liam Finn's set for a duo sing-a-long to "Cinnamon Girl". Vedder also came on for a Ben Harper hit. Ben came on PJ's set for a duo rendition of "Indifference". An amazing song and Ben's vocals just added to the beauty of it. And all three groups of artists sang Neil Young's "Rockin' in the Free World" together during Pearl Jams set.
Don't even get me started with PJ's engagement with us, the audience. He told us we were a handsome bunch of people, that the looks on our individual faces were just beautiful. He was just such a top bloke. He paused amidst the concert to make sure everyone was safe and weren't pushing each other around. He talked about ripple effects and how one violent mosh somewhere down the middle was bound to affect someone way down the front. And I should mention the rest of the band. Cameron is pretty much the man. At 48, he's still got the goods. Not to mention the guitarists, Gossard, Ament and McCready. They were good times!
And last but not least, my favourite part of the night was hearing my favouritest Pearl Jam song ever: Yellow Ledbetter. There's something about it's random spontaneous birth and our chance meeting that just gives me the chills every time. I don't even know what it means and can barely understand what Ed is on about but it's there and it's good in all it's musical glory! And it was just the way to end the show... bring out the rarity that was originally birthed on tour and initially only played at live gigs until they released Lost Dogs.
I am satisfied well and truly...
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
coins or change?
I came across this picture as I was searching for things I thought might mean something. I like it. It's provocative. And it brings me to part of the boulder I've been thinking about lots.
We as a generation talk about community a lot. In fact, we talk a lot fullstop. It feels sometimes like we don't achieve a lot. Take for instance the case with our new neighbours. Some people moved in a couple of weeks ago and despite talking about it for the last two weeks, we haven't actually gone around and said hello.
So I've been thinking lots around the how to's of community. What are things we can do practically to engage with our immediate community? I mean, we've been through screeds of theological debate about it and we've kinda figured out what it is but now the question is, "what clothes does it wear?"
I'm not venting frustrations about anyone by the way. These too are frustrations at myself at my inability to get out of the huddle and actually do something to get to know my neighbours a bit. I suck at this.
chipping away at the boulder...
Ok, so I've got lots of things on my mind at the moment and want to reflect on the whole lot without really having to do bits at a time. BUT, I don't have the capacity to do that. That could be one massive long post that I don't really want to post.
So I'm going to start chipping away at them all... one at a time... It may take copious cups of coffee and some incredibly necessary discipline (which I lack quite a lot of).
In thought bundles:
- God, Oh how he loves us
- Holy Spirit, oh how he moves with/within us
- redemption and restoration
- refinement
- community how to's (blah blah blah, we get it... Now tell us what to do)
- 3rd space cultures
- what is church
- the liberal vs. conservative debate
- sinners in church... could I feel comfortable bringing a gay friend or drug addict friend to church?
- marriage 101 - do I genuinely not want it for the right reasons?
- Spiritual and personal formation
- Blue Like Jazz
- Our life metanarratives
Night all!
xoxo (AHAHAHAHA) Lani
So I'm going to start chipping away at them all... one at a time... It may take copious cups of coffee and some incredibly necessary discipline (which I lack quite a lot of).
In thought bundles:
- God, Oh how he loves us
- Holy Spirit, oh how he moves with/within us
- redemption and restoration
- refinement
- community how to's (blah blah blah, we get it... Now tell us what to do)
- 3rd space cultures
- what is church
- the liberal vs. conservative debate
- sinners in church... could I feel comfortable bringing a gay friend or drug addict friend to church?
- marriage 101 - do I genuinely not want it for the right reasons?
- Spiritual and personal formation
- Blue Like Jazz
- Our life metanarratives
Night all!
xoxo (AHAHAHAHA) Lani
Sunday, November 8, 2009
thoughts of a certain kind
I struggle to sit down and spend time in wading in my own thoughts. I often like to think that time gets the better of me and before I know it, I've lost it... but it's not really true. I actually just struggle to put words to what I'm feeling.
There's a lot more in my head than there used to be. The mass of thoughts in my head turned from hundreds of tiny pebbles into one massive boulder. The great thing about pebbles is that you can pick one up and just go through them one at a time. With boulders, you just don't know where to start. Do you start at the part with the jagged edges because that's easier than the smooth? Do you start at the top? or the bottom? I don't know.
Lately, I've been thinking a lot about God, spirituality and community. I want to be more in-tune with the Spirit. I've known for a while now what he wills for my life and how he wants to breakthrough some stone cold areas but I just never let him. "I never have the time".
I don't read my bible nearly as much as I should. How much actually should I? Every day? Well you're lucky if I open it once a month and even then, it's probably because I'm trying to reference something.
And community... can we do it better? I think we can. I think we in the western world put in some pretty half-arsed efforts at community. Maybe it's because I grew up Samoan and just saw it done differently. Maybe I have different expectations. I just want to be able to get excited about something and share that with my community but it's so hard when I'm just not sure whether my community wants to hear it at the time that I want to speak it. I think we can do it better.
Well I'm starting again... starting the blogster in hope that I'll find my way to something inspiring...
arohanui,
Lani
There's a lot more in my head than there used to be. The mass of thoughts in my head turned from hundreds of tiny pebbles into one massive boulder. The great thing about pebbles is that you can pick one up and just go through them one at a time. With boulders, you just don't know where to start. Do you start at the part with the jagged edges because that's easier than the smooth? Do you start at the top? or the bottom? I don't know.
Lately, I've been thinking a lot about God, spirituality and community. I want to be more in-tune with the Spirit. I've known for a while now what he wills for my life and how he wants to breakthrough some stone cold areas but I just never let him. "I never have the time".
I don't read my bible nearly as much as I should. How much actually should I? Every day? Well you're lucky if I open it once a month and even then, it's probably because I'm trying to reference something.
And community... can we do it better? I think we can. I think we in the western world put in some pretty half-arsed efforts at community. Maybe it's because I grew up Samoan and just saw it done differently. Maybe I have different expectations. I just want to be able to get excited about something and share that with my community but it's so hard when I'm just not sure whether my community wants to hear it at the time that I want to speak it. I think we can do it better.
Well I'm starting again... starting the blogster in hope that I'll find my way to something inspiring...
arohanui,
Lani
Saturday, October 3, 2009
to Samoa with love...
When I first arrived in Samoa, I was the "white girl". People are attracted to foreigners. Unfortunately, I attracted mosquitoes too. It made me stand out even more. I had bites all up my legs. The villagers told me what I should do... massage the swelling with tea leaves... use coconut oil to repel the mosquitoes... sometimes they even helped to massage the swelling too. And for a few days afterwards, they constantly asked me if I was ok. Then they'd tell me I need to have more salt baths. So I'd go across the road to the sea and bathe my legs, always accompanied by some worried friend, family and maybe a following of small children who had nothing else to do.
* * * * *
I remember once walking through the village. My cousin and I took a trip around to the back of the village. Trailing behind me was a following of small children who had nothing else to do. So they came with us to check out the old school graves. That was quite an experience. It felt like there was an untouched world back there. We walked through a few metres of bush before we found the first grave. It was like massive piles of stones were gathered and grouped together to mark the bodies of village ancestors. We walked through some more bush and found even more graves. They were all completely unmarked. To the average westerner with no time for stories, they were just stones. But the average Samoan knew which grave belonged to whom. My grandmother knew them all. We spent some part of that afternoon clearing weed and moss off the graves.
I remember once walking through the village. My cousin and I took a trip around to the back of the village. Trailing behind me was a following of small children who had nothing else to do. So they came with us to check out the old school graves. That was quite an experience. It felt like there was an untouched world back there. We walked through a few metres of bush before we found the first grave. It was like massive piles of stones were gathered and grouped together to mark the bodies of village ancestors. We walked through some more bush and found even more graves. They were all completely unmarked. To the average westerner with no time for stories, they were just stones. But the average Samoan knew which grave belonged to whom. My grandmother knew them all. We spent some part of that afternoon clearing weed and moss off the graves.
* * * * *
I was running the shop by myself when it got robbed. I was upset. Between looking after my grandmother and doing various other things on the family land, having no money was the last thing I needed. The women across the road were always out on the road selling fagu sea. I asked them if they had seen anything. They got angry. They were angry at the injustice of having something stolen from me. Then they asked someone else. Another woman stopped by the shop and asked me exactly what happened. I told her my story and because I couldn't leave my grandma, she roamed the village asking people if they knew what happened. No one ever got found out but people offered to step in and help where I lacked support. I had trouble cooking meals and managing a shop so one of the women across the road would cook meals for me and bring them over. People didn't have much but they gave what they could. They'd give me their morning catch of fish or the fruit from their land. They offered me their protection.
I was running the shop by myself when it got robbed. I was upset. Between looking after my grandmother and doing various other things on the family land, having no money was the last thing I needed. The women across the road were always out on the road selling fagu sea. I asked them if they had seen anything. They got angry. They were angry at the injustice of having something stolen from me. Then they asked someone else. Another woman stopped by the shop and asked me exactly what happened. I told her my story and because I couldn't leave my grandma, she roamed the village asking people if they knew what happened. No one ever got found out but people offered to step in and help where I lacked support. I had trouble cooking meals and managing a shop so one of the women across the road would cook meals for me and bring them over. People didn't have much but they gave what they could. They'd give me their morning catch of fish or the fruit from their land. They offered me their protection.
* * * * *
We had a dog named Shaggy. He was a bit old and lost in many ways. We had other dogs too so Shaggy often got left out when it came to proper care. We didn't take care of him very well at all. When my aunt and uncle moved with the other dogs, Shaggy stayed with me. Because it was just me, grandma and Shaggy, I took better care of him. Turns out he could take pretty good care of me too.
I went across the road to the ocean. People don't often cross the houses on the very edge of the coast because they've got some crazy dogs that like biting. I often don't cross without my cousins. Since my cousins weren't around, I was on my own. As I was walking across the road, Shaggy followed. He followed me out to sea, fought off some dogs for me and followed me home after I had finished doing what I was doing. He slept at my feet (and usually brought a host of flies with him). He was loyal.
* * * * *
I'm not sure I can start with the funny moments. Believe me there were plenty of laughs. There were moments where my cousin and I would stand at the shop counter and laugh at the world that was going by. People often presume that it goes slower than the western world. The pace isn't necessarily about a particular slowness. It's just different. Some people work harder than people I've seen here in New Zealand. A day may start at 4:30am and mightn't finish 'til 9pm. But everything is done in communities. If I need to go clean the house, someone else will help me. If I need to go to the shop and get something, someone will come and help me carry back the groceries or make sure the dogs stay away. If I'm making "ice-cakes" for the shop (they're pretty much just frozen juice in a polystyrene cup), guaranteed one or two of the kids will help me. Then we'll walk down to the neighbouring village and get cokes.
Seriously, I know they're just how the earth rolls but man tsunami's suck.
Friday, September 25, 2009
testimonials and hip hop...
I like being able to be myself. I think it feels uncomfortable because you feel so different from everyone else, but the biggest similarity between you and everyone else is that everyone feels uncomfortable for the same reason. Well maybe not everyone but most people.
Last week, me and my homegroupies talked about ways to keep it real. By that, I mean that we don't seem to have a real core. There was a definite start point where people joined because they wanted to be part of an active movement. But the wonderings of the present seem to be centred around the idea that there's no strong core that drives the active movement. So how do you grow a strong core? I'm not sure. I don't think any of us really are but we're starting at the point of sharing pieces of ourselves.
Now I can definitely tell you that I'm not that comfortable telling my story. It's not because I'm a shy person but rather because it's a bit of an uncomfortable story. But I know that I have to suck it in and get over it. It's not quite as harsh as that but part of being in community means vulnerability. All well and good sharing what we're comfortable with but how are we ever going to fix what makes us uncomfortable if we keep trying to hide it. Active communities were never designed to be comfortable. I'm sure if God wanted to model comfortable, he wouldn't have sent his son to die on a cross. ... coz I'm SO sure Jesus was pretty comfortable hanging there on a plank of wood.
Life is uncomfortable. It actually makes you want to quit sometimes. Well... me anyway. I get tired. But I also get complacent. Often when you're tired, you take the easiest route possible and the hope that it'll get you some place real good. But then you find you're in the same crap place you saw yourself coming up to. You just took the long road to get there. Or... me anyway.
Also... I like hip hop. I've always been a bit scared of liking hip hop because people are so anti but I found some underground stuff that's actually amazing. I mean, all that mainstream junk is rubbish but the stuff that doesn't get noticed... man it's gold.
Last week, me and my homegroupies talked about ways to keep it real. By that, I mean that we don't seem to have a real core. There was a definite start point where people joined because they wanted to be part of an active movement. But the wonderings of the present seem to be centred around the idea that there's no strong core that drives the active movement. So how do you grow a strong core? I'm not sure. I don't think any of us really are but we're starting at the point of sharing pieces of ourselves.
Now I can definitely tell you that I'm not that comfortable telling my story. It's not because I'm a shy person but rather because it's a bit of an uncomfortable story. But I know that I have to suck it in and get over it. It's not quite as harsh as that but part of being in community means vulnerability. All well and good sharing what we're comfortable with but how are we ever going to fix what makes us uncomfortable if we keep trying to hide it. Active communities were never designed to be comfortable. I'm sure if God wanted to model comfortable, he wouldn't have sent his son to die on a cross. ... coz I'm SO sure Jesus was pretty comfortable hanging there on a plank of wood.
Life is uncomfortable. It actually makes you want to quit sometimes. Well... me anyway. I get tired. But I also get complacent. Often when you're tired, you take the easiest route possible and the hope that it'll get you some place real good. But then you find you're in the same crap place you saw yourself coming up to. You just took the long road to get there. Or... me anyway.
Also... I like hip hop. I've always been a bit scared of liking hip hop because people are so anti but I found some underground stuff that's actually amazing. I mean, all that mainstream junk is rubbish but the stuff that doesn't get noticed... man it's gold.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
simple expressions
I wonder if it's possible to count how many words I say in a day. I've been thinking about the simplicity of expression. Why do we find the need to talk so much? Is most of what we say actually just rubbish?
I wonder if I need to think about ways to say less. I'm not sure how to do it. I need to think about listening without speaking. Maybe I have hours during the day that I shouldn't speak.
From the moment I arrive at work until morning tea, I won't speak except to greet people with more than just a superficial "hi, how are you?" Simplicity of expression. Maybe I really need to challenge myself with this. Maybe it'll require a whole new thought pattern. Maybe it'll mean that I actually have to think about what I say and I'll actually have to think about which conversations I partake in.
